Frank City Film Club – Episode Eleven

Brian Snuff – A Potted History of Hardcore

I go through phases with smoke & alcohol. Like an emotional history that ebbs with the tide. Like how some days listening to Autechre is life-affirming and other days it makes me feel like I’m trapped in a cellar full of zombies.

I push the window out and open on the nighttime and then light my roll-up. I can see the reflection of my lighter sparking to life and disappearing again close to my face. I lean out a little.  The air is cooling on my face but the back of my neck is still weirdly warm from catching the spring sun.

NIKITA: Snufty…?

SNUFTY: Yep.

I have a wary tone. I don’t know why.

NIKITA: You know that thing that you said you’d do?

I take a long drag, searching the clouds for stars.

SNUFTY: Yep.

NIKITA: I don’t know whether you should…

JEANIE: What thing?

They’re both sat on my bed, cross-legged. I can’t sit like that anymore. I’m only 29. How did that happen?

SNUFTY: One of those things that women ask men to do. Even feminists apparently.

JEANIE: Get rid of spiders?

SNUFTY: Don’t bring me spiders. Scuttley fuckers.

JEANIE: Are you a feminist?

I’m not sure whether she’s asking me or Niki. Niki doesn’t answer, neither do I. Or maybe Niki nodded but I didn’t see.

JEANIE: Is it a sex thing?

SNUFTY: Yes. She asked me to never ever have sex with her.

NIKITA: He’s joking.

I sometimes think she underestimates Jeanie’s ability to pick up on my sarcasm.

SNUFTY: Oh, but you did. With your eyes.

I remember the first time I kissed her in a moment of drunken bravery. No tongues. Nothing to write home about. I ran away straight after, or at least walked away quickly. I didn’t wait to see her face. I wasn’t ready for the knowing apologetic smile. I’m sorry I made you infatuated with me. It was an accident. I was just being me. I don’t regret it for a moment. I’m so rarely brave.

NIKITA: Did you watch that film?

She pointed to her copy of Upstream Colour which was sat on the table.

SNUFTY: Yeah. You were right. I have a new affinity with pigs.

I stubbed my rollie out on the ledge and pulled the window shut.

JEANIE: You’re changing the subject.

Nikita smirked, her eyes flashing with bewitching secrets.

NIKITA: You don’t know what the subject is.

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