Frank City Film Club – Episode One

Brian Snuff – Your deconstructed narrator.

Precariously balanced between nothing and nowhere. Frank City Film Club. It sounds ambiguous enough. There could be a city called Frank. It’s an everyman name. Or something.

We set up FCFC to try to drag back together the talents of our long lost student days. Netting those that studied filmmaking (or in my case theory, that’s why they call me Snufty – I kill everything with my analytical daggers), and some other rammel we met along the way. Some vaguely creative malfunctional humanoids.

CHARACTER : Did I come across as dead romantic? Or a little bit creepy? I wasn’t sure. I suspected it depended on that old chestnut ‘whether she felt the same way’.

Before I get bogged down with the subtext of the mysterious female species, I should jam in some casting notes.

Kes. Kes works as a techie at a local college, so he has access to borrow filmmaking gear. He’s pretty shy, we often have to force his opinion out, because we know that he knows better than us.

Will. Will set up the group with all his disposable enthusiasm. But he never actually comes along, because he’s always busy with the newest project. Which may well get lost in the laundry bin tomorrow. But it being his idea, he still seems to take some ownership. No doubt if we ever make a biggie, he’ll name himself creative director. Or socially inept genius facilitator. Or Daddy Penguin.

Bane. Bane is the armchair philosopher with a sledgehammer made of subtlety. Bane suggested we didn’t have any girls in the group because they make everything complicated. I started to wonder if this is actually why you get, for example, so many all male bands. They have Bane as advisor. The kind of douche who assumes all women have read 50 shades of shite. In secret. I find it very difficult to explain why I like Bane, and occassionally consider him a best mate.

Leon. Leon seems to combine all the stereotypical worst traits of womanliness (indecisiveness, contrariness, fear of spidermonkeys), with all the stereotypical worst traits of manliness (inability to communicate except via film/music, full of accidental lies, never answers text messages due to distracted state of being). He combines these into an utterly charming, funny cartoon shell. Everybody loves Leon, so long as they appreciate that his weirdness is a good thing.

Jeanie. Jeanie is like a toy human. A minature. To look at her you can’t believe she contains enough organs for a full human. Like those little dogs. She clearly had something of a bizarre upbringing, she tells very peculiar stories as though they’re only slightly notable. She acts as though without an entourage of doting friends she might not make it through the day. But actually I think she must be a tough cookie inside her china bones. She has an odd shuffling walk, which makes her look like she’s floating. She’s a brilliant actress.

Nikita. Nikita is the reason I fought to start up Frank City Film Club. Nikita is the one who makes everything complicated.

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