Having sent out the second slogged out draft of my novel to the new victims/editing helpers, I yesterday realised my computer disliked it enough to randomly replace words with the page number & part of a word. After a small period of hysteria (during which I became too high-pitched for my better-half to hear me, but unfortunately far to clear for my poor moggie, she had to murder baby birds to recover), I decided it wasn’t too overwhelming i.e not all the way through. My computer seems to have been creepily selective in it’s punishment, clearly it dislikes the character Claudia with her uncouth swearing & improper speak as she has taken the brunt.
As I’ve been going through exorcising these Bill-Gates-spawned demons, I’ve noticed a pattern of the words which my computer has added. Along with a page number e.g 103 there is part of a word 103moking, 103oki103ng. Stuff like that. The numbers are replacing generally the first letter of a word, sometimes the first few letters. I have discovered so far my computer particularly likes the following words –
This is as far as I’ve got, maybe I’ll turn it into a conceptual poem, who knows? Maybe there’s a moral here about embracing failure, or somat, but quite frankly if it happens again, I shall be sectioned for hurling my computer under the wheels of a moving train, screaming “WHO’S LAFFIN NOW YA ****!” At which point the computer will be laughing last, as it will have infected me with its schizophrenic tendencies.
Over & owt